What’s the Most-Searched Online Dating Question in Your State?

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It’s time to say sayonara to old-school dating. Calling someone to ask them out used to be the status quo, but now texting, DMing, and snapchatting have replaced “Want to grab drinks tomorrow night?” It also may have once been the case that men always made the first move, but the game’s changed, and dating apps like Bumble—an app that requires women to message first—prove that modern dating has taken over.

Dating apps and social media have made way for a new dating scene: one that operates almost entirely online. Instead of gritting through a first date until you decide you like them enough for round two, now people can shop around for their ideal mate and suss out prospective suitors before potentially wasting their Friday night. 

Critics of dating in the digital age argue that old-fashioned dating is most conducive to chivalry and that online dating feels artificial or forced—to which we say, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. According to a 2019 Stanford study, online dating is now the most common way couples meet or connect. Further proving the point, 57 million people worldwide use Tinder. 

As providers of internet service, we’re in full support of connecting people digitally. Since we know millions of people feel the same way we do, we wanted to know what questions Americans have about online dating. To find out, we analyzed digital dating queries from Answer the People, Google Trends, and SemRush.

StateMost-Searched Online Dating Question
AlabamaHow to break up over text
AlaskaConversation starters over DM
ArizonaWhat are the top dating apps
ArkansasHow to go on a zoom date
CaliforniaHow to go on a zoom date
ColoradoHow to date online
ConnecticutHow to date online
DelawareConversation starters over DM
District of ColumbiaHow to go on a zoom date
FloridaWhat are the top dating apps
GeorgiaHow to get verified on Tinder
HawaiiConversation starters over DM
IdahoConversation starters over DM
IllinoisHow to flirt over text
IndianaHow to get verified on Tinder
IowaConversation starters over DM
KansasHow to date online
KentuckyHow to date online
LouisianaHow to date online
MaineConversation starters over DM
MarylandVirtual date ideas
MassachusettsHow to go on a zoom date
MichiganHow to break up over text
MinnesotaVirtual date ideas
MississippiHow to date online
MissouriHow to break up over text
MontanaConversation starters over DM
NebraskaHow to go on a zoom date
NevadaHow to go on a zoom date
New HampshireHow to go on a zoom date
New JerseyWhat are the top dating apps
New MexicoConversation starters over DM
New YorkHow to go on a zoom date
North CarolinaVirtual date ideas
North DakotaConversation starters over DM
OhioWhat are the top dating apps
OklahomaHow to date online
OregonHow to break up over text
PennsylvaniaHow to break up over text
Rhode IslandConversation starters over DM
South CarolinaHow to date online
South DakotaConversation starters over DM
TennesseeHow to break up over text
TexasWhat are the top dating apps
UtahShould I slide into Dms
VermontConversation starters over DM
VirginiaHow to date online
WashingtonHow to get verified on Tinder
West VirginiaConversation starters over DM
WisconsinHow to get verified on Tinder
WyomingConversation starters over DM

Interesting Findings

  • Cold calling someone to ask them out seems downright archaic (and, uh, creepy) nowadays. Instead, flirting over text until you’re ready for a first date or going back and forth over social media before either party is ready to share their digits is the new norm. To that end, 14 states searched for “DM conversation starters” more than any other digital dating query. DM sliding can be hit or miss, but there are plenty of DM success stories to convince you to press “send.”  
  • “How to date online” is the most-searched digital dating query in nine states. As of last year, over 32 million Americans online date. Online dating was already popular before 2020, but online dating became some people’s only way to put themselves out there with social distancing in place. The Morning Consult reports that 53% of respondents used dating apps more often in 2020. 
  • Americans in eight states googled “How to go on a Zoom date.” It’s no secret that Zoom’s popularity—and Americans’ reliance on it—increased exponentially. The company’s stock skyrocketed 22%, and the company made more in three months in 2020 than what it earned in all of 2019.
  • Four states googled “How to get verified on Tinder” the most of any hard-hitting online dating question. Tinder was the most-searched dating app by a landslide, which checks out since Tinder currently holds the highest share of the dating app market: $7.8 billion. At $5 million, Bumble—the online dating app with the second-highest share of the market—is barely nipping at Tinder’s heels. 
  • Americans in six different states googled “How to break up over text” more than any other digital dating question. In 2020, the number of breakups and splits soared—so much that divorce filings increased by 34%
  • Californians are more active on online dating apps than Americans in any other state—and apparently it’s working out for the majority. People in California googled “How to go on a Zoom date” more than any other search query, indicating that many people have graduated past the instant messaging stage and are ready to meet up face-to-face (virtually, of course).  


To find the most-searched digital dating query in each state, including D.C., we analyzed search queries from the following sources: Answer the Public, Google Trends, and SEMrush. From there, we analyzed each search query in Google Trends to see which states search each question the most.

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